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Rhetoretician -- Fiction etc.

Rachel's Drabble: Reward

Rachel's Drabble: Reward

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girlspellwon my little challenge yesterday, and her prize was a drabble written to her specifications.  The prompt she gave me was the following six things, in this (alphabetical ) order:  beach, Ginny, Harry, Kitten, Madam [fill in the blank], starfish.  I thought I'd give myself the extra challenge of not actually using any of those words.

Title:        Reward
Length:   100 words
Rating:    G
Genre:    Fluff (?!)

Sand surrendered to the waves as they burst over it. Her red hair tangled with his black.

She ran her fingers over his hand as the spray made their faces shine. There was a network of tiny scratches on his wrist and the backs of his knuckles – itchy, sharp little trophies from playing with young Needlefoot, who hadn’t yet learned to retract her claws. Their old matron had chuckled over these and refused to do anything about them – she rather liked the shape, she said, which reminded her of a sea star.
They were the only scars he had left.

  • My goodness....thank you! Young "Needlefoot" that's a great name

    That was terrific. You made it seem so easy.
    • You're welcome, Racquel. I enjoyed doing it, although it wasn't all that easy. (After I made such a mess of that Persephone/Hades drabble before, I wanted to make sure I had some control over the language this time.)

      I think all kittens of that age ought to be named Needlefoot. Ouch!
  • Not actually using the prompt words - that's just too clever by half! So of course you get congratulated.
  • Oh, cool! I really like how you're able to say a lot with those few words. Especially the last sentence, it has a ton of meaning.
    Using the prompts by description only was a great twist.

    • Thanks! I'm new to this drabble stuff, as you know. The challenge (and the fun) seem to be in saying a lot by saying a little.
  • You used the word "scars"! Was that just for me? :) And it wasn't even angsty! This was nice - full of light and play and happiness. Loved it.
    • Wellllll, I'd like to claim that I was that clever, but the bit about the scar seemed to come naturally after I brought up the kitten scratches. (But I dunno, maybe my "please Annette" circuit was running in the background...)
  • Lovely, Ken. I like the double meaning of the title: Rachel's reward for the question, and Harry's reward of endless days to spend like that with Ginny.
    • Thanks, Val. Actually I didn't intend the double-meaning to start with; I was just thinking about Harry's and Ginny's reward. But then I realized, as you said, that the whole thing was Rachel's reward.
  • I can just imagine Harry letting the cute kitty tear up his hands. What an inventive use of a prompt!
    • Thanks, Mary. When I was a teenager I had kitty-scratches all over my forearms and calves. (The little dears used to greet me in the morrning by wrapping their claws around my legs (one cat per leg) and biting.)
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